


The One Where Zagreus Dies

by acrylicsalt



Category: Hades (Video Game 2018)
Genre: Choking, Comedy, Hades (Video Game) Canon-Typical Temporary Death, Hypnos can't stop laughing, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mentioned Thanatos/Ares, POV Zagreus (Hades Video Game), Prompt Fic, Zag wants to spice up their sex life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 23:01:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29358417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acrylicsalt/pseuds/acrylicsalt
Summary: Prompt: i want zagreus to somehow die during sex with than and hypnos to laugh his ass off. that is all thank you---In which Hypnos laughs his ass off while making fun of Zagreus in the Styx.
Relationships: Thanatos/Zagreus (Hades Video Game)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 176
Collections: Hades Kink Meme





	The One Where Zagreus Dies

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write more of a comedy so the sexual content is lightly detailed. I focused more on the funnies.

Zagreus could hear Hypnos’s laughter before he even got out of Styx. He didn’t want to get out of the Styx. He was  _ butt naked _ in the Styx. Blood and darkness,  _ he was naked _ . Mismatched eyes flitted over to the table of towels. Why was it so far away? Who put it that far away?!

He only peeked half his head out of the river. Nose and up so he could breathe and glare at Hypnos. Zag had expected Hypnos to be at his normal post at  _ the end of the hall _ . Instead, the floating ball of yarn was at the entrance of the Styx.

“Oh  _ gods _ ! Oh, my Prince!” Hypnos was in hysterics. “You died? From that?!”

Zagreus sighed through his nose. This day, or night, had started out not that great so it was no surprise that it got to  _ this  _ humiliating situation. The Fates were a bunch of bitches.

\-----

“I mean,” Zagreus said. He couldn’t take his eyes off Thanatos. “Just  _ look  _ at you.” He gestured vaguely at the god of death.

Thanatos looked down at himself automatically even though he knew what he would see. He was fully clothed and… normal. Like he looked every day. 

“What…” Thanatos paused. “What’s wrong with me?” He was utterly confused. Zagreus did this to him sometimes. The prince would say things and Than would feel like he was speaking in tongues.

“You are the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.” Zagreus ran a hot hand down Than’s pec. “ _ Look  _ at you!” He repeated. Mismatched eyes traveling all over Than’s body.

They were in Than’s chambers for once. Zagreus had never seen them before and practically begged to see them for what felt like forever. Finally Than had relented, and, here Zagreus was. Thanatos looked particularly delicious in his natural surroundings.

Zagreus would have liked to take more time to look at everything but the instant they were here, he just wanted to jump his sweet Thanatos’s bones. The god of death looked absolutely breathtaking in his dreary room. 

\-----

Zagreus thought the most evil thoughts he could have for poor, innocent Hypnos. He finally raised his head above water level to speak.

“Could you maybe, I dunno, turn around?” Zagreus huffed.

“ _ Oooohhh noooooo _ !!” Hypnos cackled. “I want to see what my brother is so interested in!” Hypnos’s sleepy eyes were unnaturally wide open to watch. Zagreus mumbled a bunch of incoherent slurs at the floating  _ asshole  _ staring at him.

Okay, well, fuck it.

Zagreus rose out of the red waters and speed walked towards the towel rack. He was almost mortified to have a  _ full fucking erection  _ still. Almost because, well,  _ fuck it _ .

He hastily wrapped a towel around his waist and glared daggers at Hypnos.

“It says here,” Hypnos couldn’t keep the giggles at bay. “That you died from - _ hehe oh my gods hahaha-  _ being dicked down too good.”

\-----

Their hands were all over each other. It was their usual rhythm but they found having a routine was a special kind of comfort. They were gods with all of eternity to explore each other; it was easy to get caught up in what was comfortable.

“Than,” Zag breathed into his love’s neck. “I have an idea to spice things up.”

He felt Thanatos’ bones go rigid and Than’s fingers dug into the skin at his arms.

“Zagreus, must we go through this again?” Thanatos didn’t physically push Zag away, but Zag could feel the mental walls fall into place. “We have eons before we get bored of one another.”

“I’m not bored!” Zag said quickly. He pulled away from Than’s neck to look up in those gorgeous gold eyes. “I just… Look… Lord Ares mentioned some things… between you two...”

Those were the magic words to ruin the mood instantly. Zag saw the shutters close over those pretty eyes and he tried to back track as fast as possible.

“I mean!” Zagreus took the tiniest step backwards. “It wasn’t like we were talking about you. I just accepted a boon from him and  _ he  _ brought it up! I swear. It was him.” Blood and darkness, he was babbling.

“What exactly did he say?” Thanatos’s eyes were empty.

“Uhh,” Zagreus clasped and unclasped his hands. He fiddled with his thumbs and was feeling all around majorly uncomf. “He said, uhh, that you liked…” He lifted a hand and gestured at his throat. “But he also said he liked it too! And… I know I like it…” Zag shuffled his feet a little.

Silence fell on them like a wet blanket and Zagreus regretted his whole life to this point. He kind of felt like a douche to bring it up. Thanatos had always shut down any talk of the god of war and Zagreus  _ knew  _ that he hated talking about it. But here they were talking about it anyways.

“You want me to treat you like Ares?” Than’s voice was quiet. Zagreus didn’t miss how Than left off the honorific from the god’s name.

“Uhhhhh,” Zag wasn’t sure what the right answer was. He didn’t exactly want that but maybe that was the only way to get Than to rough him up a little. “Yes?”

The prince saw a flash of anger in those molten gold eyes and his heart sped up. It wasn’t anger at him; it was more of a channeling force. 

\-----

“It says that?!” Zagreus made to swipe at the parchment Hypnos was holding. Hypnos pulled it away faster than Zagreus could move.

“ _ Ahahahha-  _ no. It says ‘suffocation’.” Hypnos really couldn’t keep himself together. Somehow  _ that  _ was what made Zag’s face turn red. Death by suffocation. “Suffocation by Thanatos.” And Hypnos lost it again.

Zagreus promptly turned on his heels and stomped to his bedroom.

“Maybe don’t let my brother - _ hahahahaha oh gods this is too good _ \- smother you in the bedroom next time!” Hypnos called after him.

The worst part about this? It wasn’t the first time he died from Thanatos.

The first time they had only been kissing. It was really hot kissing, sure, but it was  _ just kissing _ . Than doesn’t need to breathe and Zag most definitely needs to. Than had Zag pushed up against a wall and they were so into each other that they both forgot Zag had to breathe and, well, at least he was clothed and didn’t have an erection the first time.  _ And  _ Hypnos was on break at the time. Than and Zag had stolen into the admin room and hastily discarded the evidence.

Now, though, the evidence was about to be spread all over the House.

\-----

A cold hand was around his throat, muffling the constant moans coming from Zagreus.  _ “Yes?”  _ had been the correct answer. Thanatos hadn’t been overtly rough, as the god of death couldn’t help himself but to treat Zag like a fragile little human sometimes, but Than had definitely upped the heat.

It was the hand around the throat that really did it for Zag. There was something to passing 100% of the trust to his partner who could literally snuff out his life.

They were in the throes of ecstasy when the hand closed a little tighter and his airway was cut off. The look of pure bliss on Than’s face was intoxicating. Zagreus didn’t mind not breathing for a little bit if he could look upon that face for a little longer.

The darkness clouded his vision quickly and his lungs hurt, but that was also fine. Sometimes Zagreus was such an idiot.

\-----

Zagreus burst into his chamber, still only in his towel. He hadn’t noticed if he walked by any of his  _ many parents _ , why did he have so many of them?!, when he dashed to his bedroom.

Thanatos’s chambers were only accessible through fancy teleportation so Zag had only one place to await Than. But Than was already in his room, hands held in front of him, a stricken look on his face.

“Zagreus,” Thanatos’s voice was laced with panic.

“Stop,” Zagreus held up a hand. “Take me back to your chambers because I can’t spend another second in this house with your brother.”

“Zag,” Than said again. “We shouldn’t do that again. I killed you  _ for a second time _ .”

“Listen, Than,” Zag was a little impatient. “It was wonderful and we are definitely going to do it again, but I need some TLC right now.” He pointed to the tent still in the towel at his waist and Than’s face turned gold with a blush.

“Yeah, I walked through the entire house with this,” Zagreus took Than’s hand a little aggressively. “Now take me back to your room so we can finish.”

Thanatos complied, albeit hesitantly, with a swoosh of invisible wings and flash of green light.

\-----

Hypnos was back at his post giggling to himself. He doodled little skulls with heart eyes in the corners of Zagreus’s death parchment. This one was going to be extra detailed with drawings so he would always remember which file was his favorite.

He looked over at Cerberus who was regarding him with interest.

“Did you see that, boy?” Hypnos asked. Cerberus whined a little and nudged his bouncy ball. Hypnos grinned sleepily.

“I think my whooooole life has been made. And I have a lot more living to do! I wonder if it’ll happen again…” Hypnos magicked the bouncy ball up and chucked it into the garden. Cerberus went flailing through the halls after his ball.

The “adults” were all gone doing whatever it was they did. Lucky for him! Otherwise he would have had to act “professional fitting his rank” when Zagreus died from  _ suffocation by Thanatos.  _

Hypnos started laughing all over again. It was just too good to be true.

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know if you liked it! I enjoyed writing this so much.


End file.
